Helping parents develop practical parenting schedules and comprehensive Parenting Plans that put their children's needs first.
When parents separate, one of their most important decisions is determining how their children will spend time with each parent. A well-designed parenting schedule can provide children with stability, predictability and reassurance during a period of significant family change.
However, developing a parenting schedule involves much more than deciding which parent has the children on particular days. Parents must consider their children's ages, developmental needs, school activities, existing relationships, emotional well-being and the practical circumstances of living in two households.
At Rosenfield Mediation, Stephen Rosenfield begins the parenting process by asking each parent to complete an individual Parenting Questionnaire before negotiating a parenting schedule. This helps both parents prepare for constructive discussions and provides a foundation for developing a comprehensive Parenting Plan.
Step 1: Understanding Each Parent's Perspective — Parenting Questionnaire
Before beginning discussions about parenting arrangements, Stephen asks each parent to independently complete a detailed Parenting Questionnaire.
The purpose is not to determine which parent is right or wrong. Rather, it is to help each parent consider their children's needs, identify priorities and explain what they believe would be a practical parenting arrangement.
The questionnaire explores matters such as:
- Each child's age, personality, developmental needs and existing routines.
- Each parent's historical involvement in daily caregiving.
- School schedules, extracurricular activities and friendships.
- Each parent's employment schedule, availability and living arrangements.
- Children's medical, educational or additional support needs.
- Proposed weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacation arrangements.
- Communication between parents and methods of resolving future disagreements is important.
The questionnaire also encourages parents to consider how their proposed arrangements might affect their children emotionally, socially and practically.
Stephen reviews the information as part of the mediation process, subject to appropriate confidentiality and individual screening procedures. This preparation helps identify areas of agreement, matters requiring further discussion and issues that may need professional guidance.
The objective is to begin mediation with a better understanding of the children and each parent's concerns—not simply two competing calendar proposals.
Step 2: Putting the Children's Best Interests First
A central principle of family mediation is that parenting arrangements should reflect the best interests of the children.
The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts — Ontario (AFCC-O) emphasizes that parenting plans should consider children's developmental needs, family circumstances, relationships and safety.
There is no single parenting schedule that is appropriate for every family. Equal parenting time may work well for some children and some parents, while different arrangements may better serve other families.
For example, younger children may benefit from predictable routines and more frequent contact with their caregivers. School-aged children may require schedules that accommodate homework, extracurricular activities and friendships. Teenagers may need greater flexibility as their independence and social commitments increase.
Parents should also consider whether their children have ADHD, learning differences, disabilities, medical conditions or other needs that require additional planning.
Where appropriate, children's views and preferences should be considered in a manner consistent with their age and maturity, without placing responsibility for the final decisions on them.
Unfortunately, family violence, coercive control and significant safety concerns require particular attention. Mediation may need to be adapted or may not be appropriate in some circumstances.
Step 3: Developing a Practical Parenting Schedule
Once the parents have discussed their children's needs and their respective perspectives, Stephen helps them explore possible parenting schedules.
Depending on the circumstances, arrangements might include alternating weekends, shared weekdays, a 2-2-3-day schedule, a 3-4-4-3-day schedule, a 5-2-2-5-day schedule, alternating weeks or another customized arrangement which works best for the children and both parents.
The objective is not to fit children into a predetermined schedule. It is to develop a schedule that fits the children and their family circumstances.
Parents consider several practical questions:
How will the children travel between homes? Who will be responsible for school transportation? How will homework, sports, music lessons and other activities be accommodated? Will the children have sufficient time to maintain relationships with both parents, extended family members and friends?
Stephen also encourages parents to consider whether the proposed schedule is realistic and workable over time, or possibly even for the next 12-24 months.
A schedule that appears fair on paper may prove difficult if it involves excessive travel, frequent disruptions or arrangements that conflict with work and school responsibilities.
In some circumstances, parents may agree to test a proposed schedule for a defined period and review how it is working. Parenting arrangements can also be designed to evolve as children become older or family circumstances change.
Step 4: From Parenting Schedule to Comprehensive Parenting Plan
A parenting schedule is only one component of a comprehensive Parenting Plan.
Once parents have developed a workable schedule, Stephen helps them address the broader responsibilities and decisions involved in raising their children while living separately.
A comprehensive Parenting Plan may include:
- Regular parenting schedules, exchanges and transportation.
- Holidays, birthdays, vacations and special family occasions.
- Decision-making responsibilities concerning education, healthcare, religion and significant activities.
- Communication between parents and between children and each parent.
- School information, homework and extracurricular activities.
- Medical appointments, medication administration and additional support needs.
- Sharing children's expenses and exchanging relevant information.
- Procedures for requesting schedule changes and resolving disagreements.
- Reviewing and updating arrangements as children grow.
For children with ADHD or other needs, parents may also consider the importance of consistent routines, school communication, treatment coordination and predictable transitions between homes.
The Parenting Plan should be sufficiently detailed to minimize misunderstandings while allowing reasonable flexibility when circumstances change. This becomes your family road map.
Stephen's approach emphasizes developing arrangements that parents understand, can implement and are prepared to maintain.
Step 5: Documenting the Parenting Plan and Obtaining Legal Advice
As parenting arrangements are developed, Stephen documents the proposed agreements in a detailed Memorandum of Understanding (MOU).
The MOU is treated as a work in progress while the parents continue discussing and refining their arrangements.
Once both parents are satisfied with the proposed terms, the document can be provided to their independently selected family lawyers for review and independent legal advice (ILA).
The lawyers may recommend clarifications or changes before the arrangements are incorporated into a final Separation Agreement or other appropriate legal document.
This process is intended to help parents understand their responsibilities, reduce future disagreements and establish a clear framework for co-parenting.
Step 6: Using Technology to Manage Parenting Arrangements
Even a carefully prepared Parenting Plan requires ongoing communication and cooperation.
Parents must manage school activities, appointments, schedule changes, children's expenses and the everyday responsibilities of raising children in two households.
Technology can make these responsibilities easier to organize.
My2Families, developed by Come To Agreement Ltd., is a co-parenting platform designed to help separated and divorced parents organize and share important family information.
Its parenting schedule and calendar tools allow parents to create proposed parenting schedules, request approvals, manage recurring activities and maintain a record of agreed arrangements.
Additional features support communication, children's information, school activities, reminders and the organization of shared expenses.
For parents who have developed a Parenting Plan through mediation, these tools can help translate their written agreements into practical day-to-day arrangements.
Stephen Rosenfield is also the founder of Come To Agreement Ltd. and has been involved in developing My2Families. Use of My2Families is optional and is not required to participate in Rosenfield Mediation.
Step 7: Reviewing the Parenting Plan as Children Grow
A Parenting Plan should provide stability without assuming that family circumstances will remain unchanged.
Children grow older, school schedules change, parents may change employment or residence, and new educational or medical needs may arise.
Parents should consider including a procedure for reviewing their arrangements periodically or when significant circumstances change.
If disagreements arise, post-separation mediation may help parents revisit specific provisions without reopening every aspect of their original agreement.
The goal is to maintain a practical, child-focused framework that can adapt to the family's changing needs.
Helping Families Move Forward
Since beginning his family mediation practice in 1999, Stephen Rosenfield has helped parents work through complicated parenting and financial issues associated with separation and divorce.
His approach begins with understanding each parent's perspective, identifying the children's needs and helping families develop practical arrangements that can work in everyday life.
A thoughtful parenting schedule is the starting point. A comprehensive Parenting Plan provides the framework for successful co-parenting.
Considering Family Mediation?
Rosenfield Mediation offers online family mediation throughout Ontario, with in-person meetings available by arrangement.
Stephen offers each parent a complimentary 20–30 minute individual consultation to discuss the mediation process and determine whether it may be appropriate for their circumstances.
This article provides general educational information and is not legal advice. Parenting arrangements should be developed with consideration of the children's best interests, applicable Ontario and federal law, and appropriate independent professional advice.
Related: Parenting & Co-Parenting Mediation · How Family Mediation Works · Book a Consultation · Parenting Plans: Key Considerations for Separated Co-Parents
